Enough

I love this quote by Patricia Kornfeld in Cultivating Wholeness

An idea that often stirs anxiety in a counselor is: “I’m not enough to do this. My supervisor, Bill, my therapist, Susan, my friend, John, could do this better. They’d know what to do.” The belief—and fear—of “not being enough” can plague even the most experienced therapist. The great therapist and theoretician Dr. Carl Rogers regularly worked to change a thought pattern that triggered his anxiety. It is said that even in his later years, Dr. Rogers would center himself before beginning a master class, and would remind himself: “I am enough.” He just had to be himself.

When we think that some wiser counselor should be in the counseling room because “I am not enough,” we disconnect from ourselves. We focus on the “expert” who is not in the room. We leave ourselves and in leaving, create anxiety. We abandon ourselves. If we were to breathe and use Dr. Rogers’ mantra: “I am enough,” we would return to ourselves and find the truth. If we are truly ourselves, we have enough.

After reading this a few weeks ago, this has become my mantra. I always kind of thought the idea of "affirmations" was kind of lame. I mean really, it just seemed silly to me to think some cheezy "optimistic" thought all the time. It conjured images of "self help" gurus with shiny white teeth shouting at an audience of business-suit clad women and men, "you are WORTH IT!"

But when I read this quote from Kornfeld, something clicked in my heart. I realized how detrimental "negative self-talk" can be--it prevents us from living our life fully, from being the people we were created to be. "Negative self-talk" is, in itself, one of those "cheezy buzzwords" but I think it is a valid description of what many of us do. How many of us have tapes playing in our mind all the time? I'll tell you what some of mine say. I'll say something that I regret, and I think, "I never say the right thing!" I'll bump into a table and think, "geez, I'm a klutz!" A professor will ask a question I don't know the answer to and I'll think, "boy, I'm an idiot!" That stuff is powerful. If you're always telling yourself negative crap like that, you're going to start believing it. I did, at least.

So now every time I notice myself saying something negative in my mind, I counteract it by thinking "I am enough." It's making a difference, for me anyway. So, my dear readers, I offer this up simply for your consideration; do with it what you will.